The Cabin in the Woods Affair
by MLaw
Summary: A planned weekend of love in the sun for the boys and their ladies turns into something unexpected... Warning HET.  # 12 in the Saga-series AU
1. Chapter 1

It had been several months now since the the man who adored his female companionship had taken himself off the active duty roster, or at least it seemed so to all the ladies working at the New York headquarters of U.N.C.L.E.

Napoleon found himself hard pressed at times, fending off the the advances of one lovely lady after other, once they heard the change in his dating status. He had let it be known that he had a regular girlfriend but that seemed to cause women to want him all the more. What made it entirely difficult was the fact that he has slept with a good many of them already.

But now, Napoleon Solo had become not only a one woman man, but a one woman, celibate man. Though that personal resolution was beginning to wear thin with him; yet he strenghtend his resolve to see it through for at least a bit longer.

His girlfriend, Bella...Josephina Isabella Maria Gabriella Graziani had stolen his heart. She was beautiful, bright, intelligent, funny and understanding...very understanding of his line of work. He admired her independence and she was nothing like any of the other women who had passed through his life like ships in the night.

Illya had called her a keeper, and this determintion coming from his friend who for many years had avoided the entanglements of the feminine persuasion nearly to the point of being phobic... until his stoic, melancholy Russian partner simply met the _right_ woman, had a son with her and then got married. Not quite the traditional order things were done in but none the less the man once dubbed "the Ice Prince" was a happily married man. And now he and his wife Elliott were even trying to have a second child.

All the more proof to Solo that if his brooding partner could have this life of contentment in spite of their employment in the world of espionage; then why couldn't he?"

Napoleon had an extremely healthy libido, maybe too healthy. So he surprised even himself that other than some very serious kissing and the wandering of hands; he had resisted sleeping with Bella...even though she had hinted at her willingness to go to bed with him.

When he avoided the subject of sex one evening; she asked him point blank if there was something wrong with her? Wasn't she desireable?" His answer was that she was the most beautiful and desireable woman he had ever met but, 'there was a right time and place for everything."

She was so different from all those other women, and there had been plenty of them in his life. Needy women, sex-crazed, air-headed, women who just wanted to be wined and dined, clever calculating women and even one who was his adversary as an agent for Thrush.

He had never hesitated to sleep with a woman to facilitate the completion of a mission or simply enjoy being in bed with a woman just for the sheer joy of good sex, but all these women meant nothing to him and their company simply served to temporarily ease his loneliness.

To say the least, none of them had ever been someone that he'd want to take home to meet mom so to speak, not until he had met Bella. He supposed that was why he couldn't go to bed with her yet; she was special and being with her had to be as equally special.

She was his caretaker when he was brought to Mount Sinai Hospital near death and it was she who helped nurse him back to health. A lot of patients become fixated with their care givers, but with Bella it was different. Instead of him being the one doing the entertaining; it was Bella who was the one making him laugh. She could be funny, or a tough cookie, but then as soft and gentle as could be.

She was real...a normal woman, but a very capable and and self-sufficient one at that.

He wasn't sure what it was that drew him to her, though it was her beauty at first and those violet eyes of course. Perhaps it was her strength, self assurance...and the fact that she took his initial flirting in stride and actually laughed at some of his best "lines" that had worked well on so many other women.

Months had passed, endless evenings of going out to dinner and dancing, broadway shows, walks and picnics in Central Park, long romantic cruises up the Hudson, as the two got to know each other, speaking about their hopes, dreams, their diappointments and fears. Some time during all their time together, he had fallen in love with her, and she with him.

Napoleon took the first step, taking her home to the family compound to meet his disfuntional family in the West Hamptions of Long Island. She came through it with flying colors; not taking any of his big sister Stella's nonsense and taking dad's aloofness in stride. His other sisters, Millie and Therese were their ususal flighty selves but it was his niece Amelia and his mother that really took a shining to the first woman he had ever brought home to meet them.

And now it was his turn to meet Bella's family. La famiglia; Momma and Poppa Graziani, her seven brothers and of course La Signora Graziani, the grandmother. He was actually as nervous as a school boy; if Grandma Graziani took a dislike to him, she could forbid Bella from seeing him again.

Even though Bella was head nurse at major metropolitan hospital and her own woman...her seven brothers would see to her protection from an unwanted suitor; unwanted by Grandma that is.

He was finally invited over for Saturday dinner with the family in Brooklyn. Bella having firmly warned him that there could be up to twenty people sitting at the table for a sausage soup with tortellini, antipasto, lasagna and cioppino; the food and vino that would eventually lead to the eruption of chaotic arguments, laughter, stories and songs. So she told him to be prepared for anything as her family was loud, very loud. And there'll be a lot of questions!"

"Hey I'm a spy remember? We're trained to resist interrogations and to expect the unexpected."

"Yeah, but my family will put you through your paces, trust me. she laughed.

Napoleon arrived exactly on time; he was notorious for being tardy but it wouldn't do for him to be late for this appointment; not this time. He brought with him gifts or maybe they were bribes; wine, flowers and chocolate fudge.

Bella let him in and he was greeted by dozens of pairs of eyes and smiles as the family waited in anticipation to meet "the boyfriend." Grandma eyed him warily as her grandaughter introduced him.

"Nonna? Questo è il mio fidanzato Napoleone. Napoleon Solo_ Grandma, this is my boyfriend Napoleon. Napoleon Solo.

"Che razza di nome è Napoleone per un uomo Italiano_what kind of name is _Napoleon_ for an Italian man?" said Signora Graziani, eyeing his suit.

"Uno che mio padre si è degnato di onorarmi co la Signora Graziani_one that my father saw fit to honor me with," he flashed her his most charming smile as he bowed just a little; handing her the bouquet of pink and white long stem roses.

"Il rossore di questi fiori per complimentarmi con il rossore dellatua guancia_ the blush of these flowers to compliment the blush of your fair skin."

Grandma Graziani accepted the flowers; saying nothing, not even smiling.

Napoleon let out a little sigh, looking at Bella with raised eyebrows as she shrugged. Then he was introduced to Mamma. Napoleon presented her with a box of fudge from the Criterion at Asbury Park...Bella had told him it was her favorite.

To Pappa Graziani, he handed a fine bottle of chianti, which went over quite well. The parents were both very welcoming to him, and even though he was not brought up in Italian tradition, he felt very much at ease with these people.

These were ordinary everyday, hard working people; not the privileged and sometimes snobbish, well to do class that he was raised with out on the Island.

Her father Salvatore worked for the Sanitation Department and mama Maria stayed home, raising her babies and cooking a lot; helping to feed those in the neighborhood who were less fortunate.

Then there were Bella's seven brothers; half of them still living at home. The others married with quite a few of children of their own. Napoleon tried to remember the names, much less match the faces that went with them.

There was Georgio, Francesco, Dominic, Paolo, Furio, Vincenzo, and the baby who was fifteen, Bartolomeo, but then of course there were the nicknames to deal with Georgie, Frankie, Dom, Pauly, Vinnie, Barty...Furio was the only one without a nickname. Vinnie and Pauly worked with the Police Department, Frankie the Fire Department, Georgie at Sanitation, Furio with Con Edison, Dom was a chef at Delmonicos and Barty wanted to become a doctor.

Then came then endless parade of nieces, nephews, and cousins the names of whom would have even challenged the eidetic memory of Kuryakin.

The dinner was delizioso, as he told Mama as he nibbled on a piece of homemade focaccia dipped in olive oil, while the continuing discussions and curious questions varied. The anticipated arguments erupted then calmed as Solo enjoyed every moment of the interesting ebb and flow to the passions of this family.

He and Bella had told them he worked for an international insurance agency and did a lot of traveling. So the endless questions about the exotic places he had been took up a good bit of the converstaion.

Then out of the blue Signora Graziani spoke; asking him a most unexpected question. Bella warned him about being ready for the unexpected, but this one came strictly out of left field.

"Tu a letto con mia nipote?

"Mi scusi Signora_ excuse me ma'am?" he said quite flustered.

"Tu a letto con mia nipote?" she repeated.

"No Signora, io no sons a letto_ no Signora I am not sleeping with her," he anwered his face blushed with embarassment.

"Gooda...I lika you," grandma spoke in broken English, " I know you tella the truth. I see in you eyes. You nice boy for mia Bella. Vedo l'amore per lei nei tuoi occhi, non la lussuria di una bestia_I see the love in your eyes, not the lust of a beast." Grandma smiled, lifting her wine glass.

"Ad amare l'uomo giovane. È bene per la mia Bella_ to love young man. You be good to my Bella."

"Cin cin! Per amore! A Salute!"_ to health and love!" they all shouted.

Napoleon and Bella were both shocked at Grandma's question, but very pleased with her pronouncement.

At one point during the noisy evening Bella watched as Napoleon sat, talking briefly to her father. Salvatore smiling and nodding, then suddenly grabbing Solo by the shoulders; kissing him on either cheek, then the two men shook hands.

It was finally late as Napoleon was readying to leave; taking Bella home to her apartment, one by one the brothers came over to him to shake his hand and give him their words of warning..."you hurt her and you're a dead man, si capisce?"

Vinnie, the policeman heard the threats, "don't worry I won't let them kill you; but I will figure out a way to haul your ass in jail if you break my sister's heart."

"Capisce_ I understand? Solo smiled...thinking a bit nervously that there was no turning back now.

He and Bella walked down the steps to Napoleon's convertible to take her home; opening the door for her,as he was ever the gentleman yet aware that prying eyes were peeking out from behind the curtains watching them.

"That went well," she smiled as he leaned over, taking her hand; giving it a kiss. Glancing up at the windows, watching the girls covering their mouths as they smiled.

"I wasn't so sure for a bit. Nonna è una donna formidabile_grandma is a formidable woman," he laughed.

"Ah but once she likes you; you're in like Flynn!"

"Hey that's not an Italian saying," Napoleon said. "you been talking to Elliott again?"

"As a matter of fact I have been...I know you're aware they're trying to have another baby? Well, I suppose I shouldn't say this, but Elliott is concerned. She hasn't been able to conceive again."

"I know, Illya already told me...he thinks there's a problem with him. He's afraid it might be the after affects of one of our more recent missions."

She knew better than to ask him the details; a fact she had learned early in the relationship.

"Napoleon...do you want children some day?" she suddenly asked him.

"Bella, to be honest I haven't thought that far ahead, I'm still getting used to you being a part of my life. I suppose it would be nice to have a couple of little Solos running around some day," he smiled at the thought.

"So what were you and pappa talking about?"

"Just reassuring him that I am an honorable man that's all and he asked me about what kind of insurance I sold?"

"Really? Pappa has insurance through the city?"

"I think he was asking on behalf of one of your brothers." he smiled, "I told him I wasn't involved in that kind of insurance, that I specialized in corporate policies."

"Good bluff," she smiled.

"Just part of the job ma'am."

"Lying you mean?"

"Bella that's part of the business I'm in and there are times I will not be able to tell you the truth about some things. Do you understand that?"

"I do. It's just something I have to remind myself of once in a while." she sighed.

"Baby, unless it's protect you; I will really try not lie to you."

"Why do I doubt that?" Bella laughed.

Napoleon smiled. She was right, he would probably lie to her...he already had done so this evening about his conversation with her father. She had him pegged and he knew it. He was amazed that she still hadn't retreated from him inspite of his tenuous existence in the spy game and took his comings and goings in stride.

He pulled the car up to the curb in front of her apartment building, then walked Bella to the door to kiss her goodnight.

"Oh no," she said grabbing him by his jacket collar, "not this time! You are coming upstairs with me. Fare l'amore con me il mio uomo adorato_make love to me my darling man?" she whispered to him, as she nibbled his ear lobe.

That did it. Napoleon kissed Bella, pinning her up against the door to her apartment, rubbing his pelvis against her, fondling her breasts with his hand.

"Alright," he whispered to her hoarsely. "I surrender."

"Inside lover boy, before the neighbors see." Bella unlocked her door, pulling Napoleon by his necktie, leading him directly to her darkened bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Her bed was soft and comforting as she felt him slide beside her between the cool sheets ; pressing his naked body against her as she felt his erection touching her thigh.

He kissed her on the lips; his tongue exploring her mouth. Then kissed her throat, then bringing his attention to her breasts holding them gently as the sucked at her nipples, teasing them with his tongue as they became erect. He ran his hands along her body, losing himself in the softness of her skin as he kissed her; slowly working his way down. At the moment his lips reached her navel, his wandering fingers slipped inside her; feeling her mucles quiver as she climaxed instantly in a shudder of pleasure at his unexpected intrusion.

"Ultiori por favore_more please," she whispered as she spread her legs, inviting him to her. Bella gasped as he slipped into her, making her moan as he began to thrust, taking his time moving in and out with a steady, regular rhythm.

His exertions became faster as she reached up, pinching his nipples, making him groan in response.

"harder!" she called to him.

His breaths came in short gasps now as he moved more intensely; feeling how moist she had become as he pleasured her. She pushed her hips up to to him until they rocked in unison as she let out a scream, climaxing for a second time. His eyes closed tightly then with a loud moan as Napoleon released himself. He remained there for a moment, lost in the euphoria of having at last made love to his Bella. It was a perfect moment of passion between the two of them as he lowered himself down to her; his heart still pounding as he looked into her violet eyes."Mio Bella," he whispered , "you know I love you so much." He kissed her on the cheek. "Marry me?"

Bella hesitated for a second. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me," Napoleon said in a soft voice, " marry me Josephina Isabella Maria Gabriella?"

Bella cleared her throat. "Well, this is not exactly the setting for proposal that a girl would have expected," she teased.

Napoleon smiled. "Alright, I can do this the right way.

Solo slipped out of the bed; reaching into the pocket of his suit jacket; he pulled out a black velvet ring box; removing a dazzling two carat marquise diamond solitaire from it.

He lowered himself to one knee at the bedside, then took Bella's hand in his; slipping the ring partly onto her finger. "I had planned to do this a bit differently, but here goes."

"Bella, my beauty...you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. You've driven away the solitude in my life; I don't feel lonely anymore because of you...please do me the honor of becoming il mio sposa_my bride? I promise I will love, honor and respect you for the rest of my life."

Bella was crying as she helped him to push the ring onto her finger...

"Does that mean yes?" he smiled as tears welled in his eyes.

"Oh my God yes...YES!" Bella paused for a second," but I never received a proposal from a naked man before." she giggled.

Napoleon laughed, "Well I never proposed to a naked lady either," then he grabbed Bella as he climbed back into bed; pulling her into his arms, just holding her close not saying another word.

"Ti amo_ I love you." he finally whispered, then kissed her deeply as he made love to her again.

The next morning Napoleon dropped Bella off to work a long shift at the hospital; then as it was Sunday and having the day off; he decided to head over to Washington Square to pay a visit to the Kuryakins to tell them the good news.

Elliott answered the door red-faced and had obviously been crying.

"Hey honey, you alright?" he asked her as he walked in, handing her a bag of bagels and a boxed crumb cake.

"I'm fine...he's in his office." she said sniffling, taking the food from him, "coffee?"

"That sounds like a good idea, I had a pretty late night," he smiled, "you sure you're O.K.?"

"Jay-sus will ye just leave it be. I'm fine, now go bother _his nibs_!"

That didn't sound good to Solo, thinking he has just walked into the middle of a family disagreement of sorts; though it was rare for these two to fight.

Napoleon walked down the hallway to Illya's office at the back of the house.

"Knock, knock," he said, announcing himself to his partner who was seated at his desk studying a book on American history, still studying for his citizenship.

"Hey tovarisch, what's going on?"

Illya huffed, obviously not happy to see his partner for once. "A little early for you on a Sunday is it not?"

"I dropped Bella off at work this morning."

"Oh really?" the Russian asked," So does that mean you finally spent then night."

Solo only smiled.

"I will take that as a yes."

"I have some news to tell you but I have a feeling it's not a good time. Elliott looks like she's been crying, if I'm not mistaken? You two have a fight?"

"Of sorts, she was crying because she did not conceive again and needless to say she is upset about it and a bit angry that I am apparently not as upset about it as _she_ is? I have an appointment to see Schneider in the morning for a complete physical, does that not show that I care? She knows how much I _hate_ dealing with doctors!" Illya paused for a second, deciding to change the subject.

"So what again may I ask is the reason for your early morning visit, surely not to tell me that you broke your vow of celibacy?"

"I proposed to Bella last night."

"And?"

Napoleon grinned.

Illya's demeanor changed instantly."Ah the answer was yes then my friend,"he smiled, "so you were engaged and laid both on the same night? he chuckled," Congratulations! Have you set a wedding date?"

"Thank you, it was not quite in that order though and please, I just proposed, one thing at time?"

Elliott walked in with a tray of coffee, buttered bagels and slices of coffee cake for the two of them.

"So what's the smiling about ye two?"

"Annushkha, Napoleon and Bella have just become engaged."

"Ah...see I told ye it'd happen someday. Good on ye both." But she spoke with less than her ususal enthusiasm as she handed them their coffee mugs, still looking a bit sad as she left them alone.

At that moment Demya came charging into the room followed by his constant companion, Boris the cat."Hi Uncle Napoleon!"

The boy leaped at Napoleon as he lifted him into the air. "Hey volchonok_wolf cub! You're getting too big! Illya what are you feeding this kid?"

Illya shooed the cat off the top of his desk." Boris spuskaemsya_Boris get down! Good girl," he said reaching down and giving her a scratch on the head as she hopped to the floor.

The boy laughed heartily as he was tossed into the air several times.

"He has not been nutritionally deprived as I was as a child," Illya said, "so I imagine he will grow up to be a bit bigger than his _papa_!" Illya reached out grabbing Demya as Napoleon tossed him up into the air again, sending the child into a screaming fit of laughter, proving that he did not inherit the brooding moods of his Russian father.

"Stop tossing him?" Elliott yelled from the kitchen," ye will make him throw up! And if he does Napoleon Solo, then I'll make ye clean it!"

"How did she know...?"

"Elliott seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to our son." he snickered. He sat back down in his chair, putting Demya on his lap; handing the boy half of a bagel to occupy him."Seriously now Napoleon. You have proposed to Bella, surely you have some idea when you would like to marry?"

"I'll leave it up to her. I finally met the family last night, and received their blessing. They're a _big_ Italian family and I'm sure she'll want a big Italian wedding. And that'll take time to organize to say the least."

"And what about _your_ family?"

"Now there's the fly in the ointment," he sighed, "To tell you the truth, I hadn't thought much about that yet; I was so concerned that Bella's family wouldn't approve of me. I was pretty nervous about it."

"You, mister suave, calm cool and collected, dressed to perfection and never a hair out of place...nervous?"

Napoleon laughed, "that's what you think of me?"

"Yes my friend, even in the most dire of circumstances you manage to stay calm and keep your wits about you."

"And look good," Solo joked, straightening his tie. "but not this time tovarisch. The grandmother really scared the hell out of me more than any Thrush agent we've ever faced."

That sent the Russian into a fit of laughter."Ah but you survived my friend to live and love another day...the women of the world will be truly devasted at this news!'

"Well do me a favor, mum's the word on this yet. I still have to let the old man know. And I'll need to prepare myself for the 'onslaught' of well wishers, and maybe a few that are not so happy."

"Oh the ladies you mean?" Illya grinned, "this I think will be an interesting scenario to sit back and watch as it unfolds?"

"Sadist."

Suddenly there was a loud crash of glass breaking, coming from the kitchen. Illya quickly put Demya down; rushing out to see what had happened, followed by his partner.

Elliott was standing in front of the sink; a shattered plate laying in pieces on the floor beside her and they watched as she raised another one smashing it to the floor as well.

Illya yelled at her in Russian. "Chto, chert voz'mi s toboy_what the hell is wrong with you!"

"Ya zol!" she screamed back at him. " Neu menya yest' prao serdit' sya?"

They yelled back and forth to each other at break neck speed, too fast for Solo to keep up with them.

"ANYA u vas yest' chtoby ostanovit' eto...vam nuzhno kontrolirovat' sebya. Eto budet man nikakoy pol'zy sohranit' osadki sebya tak!"

Illya grabbed another plate from her hand before she could break it.

"Prosto ostov'te menya yebut tol'ko vy!" Elliott screamed at him as she stormed off up the stairs to the bedroom; slamming the door closed behind her.

Demya was now crying, and had latched onto his father's leg. And Illya picked him up; patting him on the back, trying to quiet him. "Shush Demyachka. Byl prosto neschastnyi sluchay_it was only an accident. Please do not cry...mama is alright."

"Napoleon do you mind?" Illya said, a little embarrassed.

Napoleon had gotten only the gist of the argument; his was Russian was good, but not that good. Elliott was taking out her frustration on the crockery and Illya was trying to stop her, telling her to calm down and control herself. She said something about having the right to be angry and then she told him, using a choice word to leave her alone.

"No problem, you have your hands full," Napoleon said to Illya, "I'll see you at headquarters tomorrow...I'll let myself out." He grabbed a bagel from the counter, then retreated out the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Dr. Max Schneider ran a full battery of tests on Kuryakin; taking up the entire morning for the Russian which did not make the man as usual, the happiest of people. He was suprised that Illya had set up the appointment himself; as the man was notoriously uncooperative when it came to his visits in the medical wing for what ever the reason.

When all was said and done; Max could find nothing out of the ordinary to answer the man's concerns. The only thing that he noted was a very slight increase in Illya's blood pressure, so slight that it really was not significant.

"Things have been a little tense at home," Illya admitted, being unusally candid, "Elliott is taking this very much to heart."

"And you aren't?"

"Of course I am not pleased that things are not working as planned."

"There it is right there Illya...listen to yourself, you're making it sound like it's a damn field operation! No wonder your wife is getting upset?"

The Russian sat thinking quietly for a moment."Perhaps you are right. I still can act a bit disconnected and cold about things sometimes; although I would think that Elliott by now would be aware of that facet of my personality?"

"Illya you are dealing with a woman's emotions about motherhood remember?"

"True. Though Elliott has gained control over her more volatile emotions, they are still present. I should take that into consideration."

Max was relieved that he took his comments better than expected. Normally for a situation such as this, he would have recommended couseling but not with Illya Kuryakin; one thing the Russian hated more than being in medical, was dealing with psychiatrists.

"Maybe you two need to just stop trying so hard. and just let it happen when it happens. Elliott has no medical issues and amazingly neither do you; considering all the things you have been exposed to over the years? You know stress can throw a monkey wrench into the best laid plans; the fact that Elliott isn't getting pregnant is causing stress in and of itself."

"Monkey wrench, I do not understand that term?"

"Never mind, it's not important," Max chuckled just a little. "I want the two of you to relax and let nature take it's course alright? I have a feeling that when you stop concentrating on it; then it'll happen."

Napoleon walked out of Waverly's office holding a briefing folder in his hands. The old man was sending he and Illya to investigate the transfer of Thrush personnel records being passed through a local discotheque and it most certainly would be a boon to UNCLE if they were able to get their hands on this information.

He was hoping Illya was done in medical so he could bring him up to speed on the assignment and was happy to find his partner sitting in their office.

"How'd your visit go with Schneider?"

Illya tilted his head, making his reading glasses slip down his nose as he looked up. "Everything checked out _fine,_ though Max seems to think that we are trying too hard and need to _relax_." There was an obvious tone of dissatisfaction to the Russian's voice.

"Nothing wrong is good news," Napoleon smiled, then noting the look on Illya's face, "What... that's not good news? Did you want him to find something wrong with you?"

"No of course not, but his pronouncement to _relax_ is... is riduculous!"

"You know what, maybe Max is right? You are too uptight about this. Instead of being relieved; you're pissed off! he said shaking his head at his stubborn partner.

"Well, here's something to take your mind off it for a while," Napoleon said tossing the file infront of him.

"You'll need you to hone up on your double bass skills... as you're going undercover as a stand in for the bass player in a band that performs at a discotheque that's operating as a front for Thrush."

He watched as his partner flipped through the folder; scanning for the details. "Records transfer? This could be quite a windfall for us." the Russian smiled.

"Illya, when we're done with this assignment; how about you and I take our lovely ladies up for a weekend at my family's cabin in the Catskills? You know, a little communing with mother nature can help one to _relax_...just what the doctor ordered? There's nothing like making love on a blanket out under the warm sun?"

Illya smiled shyly."That my friend sounds like a plan. So what is this band I have to perform with?" he asked, getting back to business.

Napoleon dropped a color publicity photo taken in front of the club, called "The Bealers."*

Illya smiled, commenting on the color of the blazers they wore." I have that same jacket, hmmm; it will make it easier for me to blend in with them."

"That burgundy jacket is possibly the most hideous piece of clothing that you own."Solo crinkled his nose," of all things, that's what you chose to add color to your eveything black wardrobe?"

"Well, I like it?"

"I'm surprised Elliott didn't get rid of that thing?"

"She tried," Illya grinned in satisfaction.

Napoleon chuckled at his partner's questionble taste...

"You finish going over the file, I have to do an errand for the old man. Seems one of our UNCLE's tenants in the building next door is being a bit troublesome."

"Ah, one of the perks of being CEA?"

"Very funny."

A week later Solo and Kuryakin had ended up setting the discotheque ablaze as they escaped a from deadly sitation while locked in a cell in the basement of the building; unfortuately destroying all the Thrush personnel 'records' in the process. The information had literally been pressed to vinyl 45 rpm records and melted in the heat from the fire; bringing the affair to an unsatisfactory conclusion. It was a questionable win for U.N.C.L.E. though any day when things at least remained the status quo when it came to T.H.R.U.S.H. was a good day; better that than have them get ahead of the game.

That game slowed for once and with no assignments pending; the agents happily packed their bags. Heading out for the weekend; driving with Elliott and Bella to the Solo family retreat in the eastern Catskills in upstate New York.

Although it bothered the Kuryakins to leave their son as they did it so often when off on assignments; Napoleon convinced them it would be good for them to just simply get away and have some time to themselves for a few days. They would be staying together in the two story cedar log house owned by Solo's parents, situated on a fair sized piece of property beside a private lake, on which Napoleon first learned as a child to handle a small boat, but also where he almost drowned once.

The cabin was large with plenty of room for privacy and the nearest neighbor was a mile away. So as Napoleon put it, "the kiddies could romp to their heart's content without interruption. Though Illya gave him a strange look when his partner said the word "romp."

The Kuryakins being interested in the area's flora and fauna took a hike up to the double drop waterfalls of the Kaaterskills; spending a few hours traversing the well estalished path through the woods; Illya marveling at at the number and variety of tiny orchids along the trail. The two of them laughed in amusement at a chipmunk that seem to take interest and was following them with great curiousity as they leaned on their walking sticks, climbing upwards at a leisurely pace.

Once they reached the summit; they sat down along the edge of the precipice to munch on the sandwiches they had brought with them; tossing a crust to their chipmuck friend in reward for sticking with them. The view was a magnificent panorama of the lush green peaks, allowing them to see clear across to Hunter mountain.

Illya reached over, putting his arm around his wife's shoulder, giving her a little hug as they listened to the sound of the falls and the bird songs that surrounded them.

It was a precarious perch and would have frightened the average person, as the drop from the top of the falls to the pool below was close to 180 feet. But the elevation to the two agents was superfluous as they simply enjoyed the rare treat of the sights and sounds of nature.

"Napoleon was right," Illya mused to himself," this was relaxing, and he could not recall the last time he and his wife had just gotten out of the city to enjoy each other's company...especially since they had moved to Washington Square.

It was good to have a place of their own, but along with the seclusion came the expenses of up keep as UNCLE was no longer covering their housing expenses.

They discovered they needed to have a lot re-wiring done in the brownstone and though Illya was completely capable of doing it himself; the city required permits and a licensed electrician to do the work. And those services were not cheap. Then the hot water heater went; another expense. The pressures from work assignments not withstanding; Kuryakin realized that maybe there were more tensions affecting them besides worrying about the difficulties of conceiving another child.

He looked up at the skies that were beginning to cloud over while he had been lost in his thoughts; when Illya felt a small twinge of pain at the top of his head. "It is going to rain," he whispered, "we best get going." He helped Elliott to her feet, taking a moment to stop to and kiss and they began their descent; arriving at Napoleon's convertible just in time to get the top up as the first drops of rain began to fall. Then it turned into a torrential down pour; the windshield wipers struggling in vain to give the Russian a clear view as he drove slowly along the winding roads until they finally made it back to the Solo's cabin.

Illya parked the car out front as they made a run for it to the door, laughing like young kids as they came in out of the rain.

"Now that's a good sight to see," Bella smiled, "I was just putting the kettle on for some tea, want some?"

They both nodded as they shook the rain from their clothes. Elliott retrieved a couple of towels from the downstairs bathroom, tossing one to Illya.

"Have anything little stronger to go with that?" Elliott asked Bella as she rubbed the chill from her arms.

"How about a little anisette?"

"I'm game fer it." Elliott called to her.

"So much for making love on a blanket under the sun," Illya remarked to Napoleon as he walked into the room.

"Hey stop being such a pessimist, there's always tomorrow." he winked as he bent to put a match to the kindling in the fireplace.

The women retreated to the kitchen to chat and finish preparing dinner as the partners sat in front of the fire staring into it like deer in headlights. It was a rare moment of inactivity for them.

"This actually was a good idea Napoleon," Illya said as he sipped his anisette," we had a wonderful climb up to the top of the waterfalls today and the view was breathtaking. It is a shame when you think about all the marvelous places we have been and how rarely we have the opportunity to stop and enjoy our surroundings."

"That's because someone is usually trying to kill us, don't you think? Though I could think of one an activity of a more horizontal nature to make me relax more than climbing a mountain?"

"You would... Elliott and I came up here to take our minds off that, remember? I want to do just as the doctor ordered for once and relax, if sex happens, then it does; if not well?" he shrugged. It has become tedious to have to perform on cue when it is the optimum time for my wife to conceive. It does take a bit of the enjoyment and spontaneity out of making love to one's spouse?"

"To say the least, I imagine," Napoleon cringed.

"Hey ye two, dinner is served!" Elliott called from the kitchen.

She and Bella appeared carrying platters of sirloin steaks, with steaming roast potatoes and carrots with fennel and aspargus with hollandaise sauce as well as a bowl of Ceasar salad.

"Wow you've outdone yourselves!" Napoleon pronounced as he opened a bottle of Petite Sirah while Illya lit a pair of candlesticks, placing them on the dining table.

"Wait til' you see what I have as dessert for you? "Bella smiled at Napoleon. "Oops, sorry, that was really meant to be private."

They all laughed at her remark."Maybe I'll have some dessert for ye too Cossack...if ye play yer cards right?" Elliott whispered, winking at her husband.

Illya smiled at her, giving a shrug; leaving her a bit puzzled as her comment would have normally peaked her randy Russian's interest.

"Here's to friendship," Illya said raising his glass, "And to love," Napoleon added as he looked at Bella.

The rain continued coming down in sheets outside as they ate their dinner, chatting and drinking. Just as they finished there was a flash of lightning followed by an explosion of thunder. "That was close?" Bella said as the lights flickered, then when out completely.

"Glad I lit the candles," Illya remarked as Napoleon retrieved more from the sideboard, adding them to the pair on the table.

They all carried the dishes into the kitchen, opting to leave them for the morning then calling it an early eveing; they headed off to bed, wishing each other good night.

Illya and Elliott undressed by candle light and as he sat on the edge of the bed, she leaned her body against his back.

"How did you get change so fast?" he smiled, feeling her breasts pressed against him as he slipped out of the rest of his clothing.

She shushed him as she began to slowly kiss his back, stroking him gently, then she began massaging his shoulders.

"Lay down Illuysha, ye are so tense, I'll rub yer back for ye."

"That is not really necessary?"

"Shut up and lie down."

"Da madam tovarishcha. Ya zhivu chotby povinavat'sya_yes madam comrade. I live to obey!" he teased her; saluting with his hand, then flopping down to his stomach on the mattress.

Elliott dug in with her fingers, finding every possible knot in his back, making the Russian moan as she relieved his tension with every stroke of her hand. Then slowly she worked her way down, reaching between his legs. This time it was a different kind moan she elicted from him as he rolled over.

He tried to sit up but Elliott pushed her hand against his chest. "Nyet, leg na spina. Ya skazal vam chto ya budu zavotit'sya o tebe_ no, lay back. I told you I was going to take care of ye."

She began to softly stroke him until he became erect, then pushing back the sheath of his uncircumcized penis she took the head in her mouth; teasing him with her tongue until she sensed he was nearly ready to climax.

Then she stopped, moving up and straddling him with her knees on either side, teasing him again before she lowered herself, letting him enter her. Illya tried reaching up for her breasts, but again she stopped him.

"Nyet moya lyubov'...pomite, chto eto vash dessert_ no my love this is your dessert." she laughed softly.

Illya was not accustomed to his wife taking the lead in their lovemaking, though she was a strong and aggressive woman in the field, she preferred to be more passive in the bedroom with him. So her ministrations tonight came as a pleasant surprise to him and he found it extremely erotic having her take complete control over him.

"Delayte so mnoyu, vy budete_do with me as you will." he whispered.

Elliott moved up and down slowly building momentum, then leaned forward resting her torso on his, moving her pelvis from side to side then in circles as her gyrations made the Russian begin to moan more loudly than ususal. She pulled him up, holding onto his shoulders; her legs now wrapped around around her Cossack as she kissed him, teasing him with her tongue. She felt Illya shudder, as he was unable to hold back any longer; crying out as he climaxed.

"Did you like your dessert my love?" she whispered, nibbling on his ear.

Still caught in that trance-like moment; he could barely speak. "mmm huh" was all he could manage as an answer until the rush of pleasure faded. "Qu'en pensez-vous ma douce_what about you my sweet? he whispered in French; knowing that Elliott liked that when they made love.

"Nope...this was just for ye tonight. Now go ta sleep and dream sweet dreams, my darlin' boy."

He kissed her on the forehead, as he ran his fingers through her long red hair, stroking it for a few minutes; then curled up at her side, drifting to sleep in a few minutes with his head resting on her shoulder as the wind and rain continued to howl outside.

Napoleon sat with Bella at the edge of the bed sharing a single glass of wine between them. He took one last sip then put it down on the night stand as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a deep sensuous kiss. He kissed and nibbled at her thoat, then continued moving along her body; stopping at her breasts teasing her nipples with his tongue.

"no...go back there," she whispered, pointing to her throat.

He smiled, then returned; nibbling at the spot she had pointed to until she moaned; her entire body shook, reaching orgasm just from his kissing her throat.

Bella pushed him back to the bed, then straddled him, slipping on top of as she balanced herself on her feet, leaning forward holding him down by his shoulders. Her ample breasts dangling, tempting him by their proximity. He kissed them tenderly as he reached down stimulating her with one hand while he used the other to steady her as she moved on top of him, until he felt her muscles contract. Bella screamed with pleasure, then Napoleon climaxed with a loud groan of satisfaction..

They curled up together in contentment until Bella reached under the pillow, feeling his special tucked there.

"Do you really have to keep that here?" she whispered, "It makes me a little nervous."

"A necessary precaution I'm afraid. I'm nervous if it isn't there." he pushed it farther under the pillow. "Don't worry il mio tesoro_my darling, the safety is on." he reassured her, wrapping his arm around her as they closed their eyes, surrendering to the lure of Morpheus.

A few minutes later there was a loud crash coming from the livingroom; sending Solo and both Kuryakins, all three dressed only in robes, charging out with their guns drawn.

"Stay here!" Napoleon warned Bella.

The front door was wide open with the wind and rain blowing as one of the window panes had been smashed. They did a quick perimeter search and found everything clear; tossing the damage up to the ferocity of the storm.

The Kuryakins went back to their room unphased while Napoleon used a roll of duct tape and a piece of cardboard for a temporary repair, then returned to the bedroom where he found Bella cowering under the sheets, quite shaken up.

"Honey it's alright," he said as she trembled in his arms "It was just the wind, it blew the front door open and broke one of the glass panes in it."

"It wasn't that...you, you went out with that gun in your hand? What if there was someone there, would you have shot him?

"Not if I could help it," he smiled. "See this," he said pulling the clip from his weapon. "these are tranquilizer rounds, non-lethal."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," he smiled, gently stroking her hair. Now go back to sleep baby? Everything is fine, I promise." Napoleon kissed her on the head, then settled in to go back to sleep.

They did not see the pair of eyes watching them through the bedroom window as they lay back down together; the voyeur seemingly unconcerned with the pouring rain.

* "The Discotheque Affair"


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was shining brightly the next morning, warming everything and quickly drying the dampness from the previous night's storm.

Napoleon and Illya walked outside to surveying the mess; there were plenty of tree branches down, puddles filled with the debris of twigs and leaves, but so far nothing of substance to concern them.

The power still had not come back on, but since it was a bright sunny day that wasn't a problem yet. Cooking wasn't an issue as the stove was fueled by propane, but there wasn't any hot water and the food in the fridge would only keep for so long. Hopefully it would come back on soon, though Napoleon reassured the others that it happened all the time and not to worry about it.

They walked the perimeter of the house checking for any damage other than the broken window, when Kuryakin noticed muddy footprints on the front porch leading to the side of the house, not thinking much of it at first; presupposing they were just Solo's until he found shoe impressions in the mud, facing inwards towards the window of Napoleon and Bella's bedroom.

"Napoleon!" he called loudly, "you had better come here?"

"What else is broken?" Solo called, assuming his partner had found more damage.

"Look," Illya pointed as he crouched down. " I think you may have had some unwanted company?"

Napoleon raised an eyebrow. "Hmm? Wonder if we had an audience last night?"

"Could it have been someone looking to get in out of the storm...it was pretty wild last night?" Illya suggested. "Perhaps it was this person that broke the window and not the wind?"

"The house did look kind of empty, with the power being out?" Napoleon said thinking for second,"let's check something?"

He walked back around to the porch, opening the front door, looking down; Solo touched his fingers to floor. "There's dried mud here, looks like the remnant of a foot print?" he said looking up at Kuryakin. "that answers that. I think you're right, someone tried to get in out of the rain, then heard us and took off."

"I suggest we lock the doors and windows tonight, just as precaution." Illya said." We are assuming that this visitor just wanted in out of the rain and was not a burgler of some sort?"

"Burglaries up here? I can't recall that ever happening. No one locks their doors at all, it's that kind of place. But do me a favor, don't say anything about this in front of Bella, she was pretty spooked about us prowling around last night with our guns drawn."

Illya nodded his agreement, then walked off into the kitchen to help finish cleaning up the remnants of last nights dinner dishes.

The deal was the ladies cook dinner, the men would cook breakfast. Lunch...everyone was on their own. So once the kitchen was cleaned; he and Napoleon set about making pancakes, eggs, sausage, sliced fresh fruit and a bit of a mess but still producing a tasty breakfast in spite of pancake mix dusting just about everything on the kitchen counter.

Breakfast was served with nice hot cups of coffee for Napoleon and Bella, while the Kuryakins preferred their tea.

"Not bad?" Bella smiled," what a bonus I'm getting, a future husband who can cook?"

"So, some pretty wild things happening round here last night," Elliott said, "and I'm not referring to the storm...ye two got a little loud with yer unbridled...nocturnal, umm?"

"Speak for yourselves!" Bella teased.

Napoleon and Illya lowered they heads, their faces blushing as they tried to mask their apparent chagrin.

"Look Elliott the the big tough U.N.C.L.E. agents are embarrassed!"

"Well ye know our lads, usually prefer ta keep things quiet while they're _undercover_?"

"A little change is good once in a while, I suppose?" Illya said trying to hide his smile.

"So what are your plans for today, please don't tell me more mountain climbing" Napoleon asked as he speared the last of a sausage with his fork.

"I think we're going ta spend some time by the lake, a little swimming perhaps?" Elliott said, "care ta join us?"

"No, you can count me out on that." Napoleon made a face.

"Still chicken?" Elliott laughed.

"I think I'll take the fifth on that. I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I will incriminate myself."

"Napoleon, you don't like to swim? But you love sailing?" Bella asked, quite surprised.

"Such is the conundrum that is our Napoleon Solo," Illya quipped as the power suddenly returned.

"I call first hot shower!" Elliott shouted out raising her hand like a schoolgirl.

Illya leaned over her shoulder, kissing her on the cheek."Only if I get to join you ma chérie?" he whispered to her.

Once they were finished eating,Bella grabbed the breakfast dishes. "Go ahead you two, you go first." she said," then it's our turn. Just make sure you leave enough hot water for us?" she then blew Napoleon a kiss as she eyed seductively with her violet eyes.

"This was one shower he was looking forward to," Napoleon mused happily to himself.

It turned into a lazy morning for all, sitting around drinking tea and coffee, nibbling on snacks. Bella wandered by the lake and Elliott sat out on the lawn soaking up the sun in lounge chair, while Illya sat inside as usual, his nose buried in a book.

Napoleon repaired the broken glass with a piece he'd found in his dad's shed out back. That was something that was definitely kept locked by his father, and Napoleon was surprised to have found the latch had been pried open. He looked around, not sure if anything had been taken, as it had been a while since he'd been in it. Everything seemed alright as he scrounged for a piece of glass, a glass cutter and some caulk.

He'd have to head into Durham to the hardware store to replace the lock; that was all he needed to hear from his father if he'd left the house without making any repairs.

He walked back to the front of the house; sitting himself down in the chair next to Elliott.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Fine, why?"

"Really? Are you feeling a little more _relaxed_ now?"

She snickered at his remark, "If yer referring to Max's adivse, yes I am. But I suppose I really haven't been lately have I? I've been pretty rough on yer partner and that hasn't helped matters now, has it?"Elliott paused for a second, thinking about how she was really feeling. " Thanks for suggesting this Napoleon. We were getting a bit fierce, so coming up here was a nice way to get rid of all of that tension."

"As demonstrated by the 'noise' that was coming from your room last night; I would say so."

She click her tongue trying to deflect the comment but still smiled.

"Ye know I never really let ye know how happy I am for ye. That Sunday when ye came by to tell us yer news; I was in a pretty bollaxed up mood...I'm glad ye have found yer Josephine."

Napoleon reached out, taking her hand giving it a little kiss."Thanks Ellie, that means a lot coming from you. You know that, right?"

"Stop! Yer going ta get me all teary eyed now!" she pulled her hand from his as she saw Bella coming up from the lake.

Napoleon and Bella left to take the drive into town while Illya and Elliott changed into their bathing suits; taking a blanket and towels with them as they walked to the far side of the lake, holding hands like young lovers.

"God this place is so beautiful," Elliott sighed, as they lay on the blanket close to the water's edge. "Such tranquility? It's nice ta just forget about the world for once...though I am missin' my Demmy. Do ye think we should have brought him?" I mean the poor lad, always having his parents leave him..."

"Anya, he is fine, do not make yourself feel guilty. Demya knows very well how much we love him." Illya reached up stroking her face gently with the back of his hand.

"Vy takaya krusivaya moy dorogaya_you are so beautiful my darling. I have not told you that in a long time I think? I am sorry I have not? he leaned over, kissing her tenderly on the lips.

Elliott smiled, blushing at his compliment."Ye know I never really believed that...being beautiful that is. I was always the tough girl with all these freckles and I'm so small," she said touching her breasts." I never thought of myself as being all that desireable ye know? I don't have exactly what ye call an hour glass figure."

Illya laughed."Stoi_stop Elliott, you are perfect and I love you exactly the way you are. You are smart, strong," he leaned in kissing her again, "beautiful and sexy."

"Thank ye my love." she sighed," I've been so terrible to you lately, can ye forgive me?"

"Ma chérie il n'ya rien a pardonner_ my darling there is nothing to forgive. Please, do not concern yourself.

Elliott rested her head against his chest for a moment, then sat up, looking at him. "Illuysha, I've been thinking...when I do finally get pregnant again; I might leave the field this time, take a desk job?"

Illya was surprised to hear that. "You love being in the field, as you recall I could not convince you othewise when you were carrying Demya?"

"Things change...priorities. We're a family with a home of our own and maybe another baby? Well I think it's time mama was around more that's all."

Illya took her face in his hands, kissing her again; just a bit pleased at her idea but knew better than to tell her that. "Anya it is your decision; what ever you wish to do is fine with me.

"Ew, ye are such a liar Russian!" she laughed.

He reached around her back with a wry smile, undoing the the catch to her bikini top with the flick of his finger.

"Let us not think so much about making a baby right now enh? It will happen when it happens," he looked at her; his bright blue eyes filled with nothing but desire.

"Illuysha..."

"Shush, calme si'l vous plâit_quiet please?" he whispered, "Je me concentre sur d'être votre randy de Russie pour le moment_I am concentrating on being your randy Russian at the moment."

Elliott giggled as he lowered her down to the blanket, making mischief with his tongue. When their lovemaking was done; Elliott sat up staring out at the lake, then the trees, covering her body self consciously with a towel.

"Something wrong?"

"Ye know...I have the strangest feeling we're being watched?" she said, looking at the goosebumps on her arms.

"It is your imagination. This is private property in the middle of no where, the nearest neighbor is far enough away and Napoleon and Bella have not come back from town." He turned her head with his hand, facing the house at the far end of the lake, "see no car. Come on, I want to go for a swim!" he smiled, pulling her up from the blanket and leading the two of them, naked into the water.

Elliott screamed as he dragged her in." Jay-sus it's feckin' freezing!"

Illya seemed unaffected by the water temperature and laughed at her reaction.

"Try doing this in the middle of Russian winter, " he laughed, "in training for GRU, they had us out in frozen rivers and lakes all he time."

"It's no wonder ye love yer hot showers so much then?"

The two swam out to the center of the lake, then bobbed in the water holding on to each other as they talked. They kissed and fondled, but the water was simply too cold for Illya to do any love making with his wife. They finally climbed out, shriveled and shivering as they returned to the blanket grabbing their bathing suits.

Elliott wrapped herself in a towel but then became rather preoccupied, " Where did ye toss my bikini top? I don't see it?"

"It was right on the blanket."

"No it's not and neither are our sandwiches?" she said.

Illya pulled his special, hidden in the folds of his towel, holding it at his side as his eyes scanning the woods.

"Wait, it was probably an animal," she said as she spotted one of the wax paper wrappers lying shredded close to the tree line; then she thought for a second, "but then why would an animal take my bathing suit top?"

"Eto potomu, chto vy vkusno morsa moy sladii_that is because you are a tasty morsel my sweet" he smiled as he gathered up the blanket."

"No so bad yerself Cossack. Now if ye could find my top I'd be very happy?"

"I am sure it will turn up eventually, now may we go? I am famished." Illya glanced around looking for it once more before they walked back to the house.

They opened the door then he walked in carrying the blanket in his arms, but as he stepped into the living room; it was the last thing he remembered.

Napoleon and Bella drove up the long dirt road to the house, bringing with them an order of Chinese take out for lunch. But as he pulled up to park the car; Napoleon thought it was odd when he saw the front door hanging wide open with a towel lying in a heap on the ground in font of the porch.

"Stay in the car Bella," he warned her as he pulled his special from it's shoulder holster.

He could the fear in her voice, "Napoleon, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, now just stay in the car."

Solo was cautious as he walked inside; finding everything a mess as there had obviously been a struggle. The as he walked toward the kitchen; he spotted his partner laying on the floor, a small pool of blood near his head.

"He looked around the room half expecting company as he knelt beside the Russian; feeling his neck for a pulse. "Illya, wake up buddy? Come on!... ELLIE?" he called out; looking for her. "Where are you honey, let me know if you're here?"

It took a few minutes but then the Russian groaned as his eyes finally opened. The only injury Napoleon could fine was the headwound, but it must have have happened a while ago as the blood on his scalp was already beginning to dry and Illya had a hell of a lump on his head.

He lifted his partner up to the sofa and knew Bella could help him, but when he got out to the car, the door was open and there was no sign of her anywhere.

"BELLA!" Napoleon yelled as he turned in circles looking for her as he tried not to panic.


	5. Chapter 5

Illya staggered out the door of the cabin, hearing his partner calling Bella's name. He managed a few more steps before a bout of dizziness overwhelmed him, toppling him from the porch to the ground.

"Jesus Illya?" Napoleon said as pulled him up into his arms, cradling his Russian friends head close to him. "What the hell happened here? I find you out cold and bleeding, the house is a wreak, Ellie is no where to be found and now Bella's disappeared?

Kuryakin's eyes blinked several times as he tried to focus.

"Anya gone? I... we came in from lake..."he put his had to his head trying to recall what had happened to them, then winced in pain. "I 'member I heard fighting, thins breaking..." Illya tried to regain control of his slurring speech. "They are gone?" he suddenly felt nauseous, then began to wretch as he brought up stomach bile.

"Think you've got a concussion tovarisch, take it easy." Napoleon said, helping his partner into the house to the sofa, then went to the kitchen to grab a towel and some ice from the freezer. He picked up the telephone receiver, intending to call the Sheriff's department, knowing he'd need help on this one.

"Damn!" he cursed; the phone line was dead. And their communicators were useless, as the property was right in the middle of a 'dead zone' and tough to get a signal because of the mountains. The kitchen seemed strangely quiet when he realized the refrigerator motor wasn't humming; he hit the light switch. Nothing. The power was out again, except this time he was sure it was deliberate.

He walked back to Illya, gently washing the head wound with the damp towel. "The cut's not that bad," he pronounced, "but I'm sure your going to have hell of a headache," he said handing him the bag of ice cubes. He watched, noting that Illya's hand shook as he took it from him.

"Already do," Illya mumbled as placed the ice pack gingerly to the lump on this head.

Napoleon was momentarily conflicted as to what to do. He had to find Bella...and Elliott, but Illya was not exactly in shape to go with him or to be left alone. If he did have a concussion; then had to be kept awake.

There was a noise at the door as the knob began to turn slowly. And Napoleon Solo took careful aim with his weapon, preparing to fire. The door flung open and Bella walked through with her arms wrapped around Elliott's waist helping her to stand.

"Oh God Bella you're alright...I thought something happened to you! Why didn't you _stay_ in the car like I told you!" he was relieved but obviously angry with her.

"I'm fine, and _don't_ raise your voice to me? I heard her calling from down the road and went to help...Napoleon, she's pretty beat up?"

Elliott stared blankly as Bella helped her down to a chair; she was completely nude, clutching herself tightly with her arms across her chest. She was bleeding from a number of lacerations and her red hair sticky with blood as it hung in a wild mess over her bruised face.

Bella eyed Illya laying down, holding the ice to his head and the bloody towel in his hand as she grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the sofa, wrapping it around Elliott.

"Annushka? Illya called to her as he tried to get up.

Napoleon ordered him not to move. "Stay put, I've got it!"

He knelt down beside her, speaking softly at first."Ellie honey, what happened?" ELLIE?"

She looked at him with a vacuous stare then spoke, sounding very dazed and she could barely speak.

"He...they came out of nowhere...had a baseball bat. Hit Illya...us. It all happened so fast? We were caught off guard. Two maybe, three of them. They held me down and started to beat me...not sure? I couldn't get... dragged me...took, took me ta the woods down by the road."

"Elliott, were you raped?" Bella asked in a hushed voice.

She sat for a moment rubbing her head with her hand before she answered. "No," Her voice sounded stronger. "but they would've, had ye not driven up when ye did. Ye spooked them enough that I was able ta get away. They took off into the woods... where's, Illya? Is he alright?"

"He's right here on the sofa with nice bump on his head, but I think he'll be O.K." he lied to her, not really being sure of her husband's condition.

Napoleon retrieved a first aide kit from the bathroom, handing it over to Bella. She was quite calm and focused as she looked the Kuryakins over, checking for signs of concussion; she found their pupilary responses to be good.

"You were lucky." she said. Though once she heard Illya had gotten sick; she became concerned that his head injury was more serious than it appeared. She didn't like his color and his skin felt a bit cold and clammy.

"We have to get them out of here now. They both need more medical attention than I can give them."

Napoleon reached down for his backup pistol from it's ankle strap; offering it to Bella.

"I don't want that?"

"Take it and no arguments. The safety is off, you just have to aim it and pull the trigger, understand?"

Bella looked at him wide-eyed, then nodded. This was serious business and she needed to rely on Napoleon.

"I'm going out to pull the car up closer to the house, if anyone other than me walks through _that_ door...you shoot. I know you're scared, but you have to trust me on this?" He reached out stroking her face just for a second, then smiled at her. "I love you." Those three words spoke volumes to her and gave her the confidence she needed.

"Alright," she whispered.

Solo crept out to the car holding his special in front of him, not sure of what to expect.

"Shhhit." he cursed under his breath when he saw a front tire was slashed. That meant these guys were close and watching. He retreated with his back to the house, stepping carefully up to the porch; maintaining a defensive posture as he scanned the property for any sign of them.

"Bella, I'm coming in!" he called, "don't shoot baby?"

Illya was up from the sofa now, at Elliott's side, holding her in his arms. He was shaking as he struggled to keep himself upright.

"Whas going on Napoleon?" Illya's speech was still slurred.

"You need to get back on that couch."

"I will be...ffine, jus give me a few minutes?"

The Russian took a deep breath drawing on what ever reserves he had left as he straightened himself holding his wife closer to him, more concerned about her than himself.

"Who ever did this to you slashed a tire, the phone's dead and electric is out. It's obvious they want us to say here." he said, closing the door behind him, locking it. Then he moved quickly through the rest of the house, securing all the windows and the back door.

"Where are your weapons?

"Gone," Elliott said," they took them."

"Great?" Napoleon said," Well we have my special and backup...back ups, you did bring yours?"

"Upstairs in the bedroom." Elliott said.

"Where?"

"Under the bed pillows." Illya answered slowly.

"Bella, you go up and get them? She appeared a few mintues later, shaking her head."No guns, the room was ransacked."

Solo flopped down in one of the chairs. "This is not good."

Suddenly there was a the sound of glass shattering as a bullet smashed through one of the front windows.

Napoleon grabbed Bella, pulling her to the floor as the Kuryakins dropped instinctively.

Solo crawled over to the window, peering out but saw no sign of the gunman. There was another shot, destroying another window as it entered the livingroom; ricocheting against the fireplace mantle.

This time he could see the muzzle fire from the pistol. Napoleon switched out the clip in his special, removing the tranquilizer rounds, then took aim and fired.

He heard a whoop, followed by laughter; guessing that he missed.

"How much ammo do we have?" Illya whispered as he crawled beside him.

"One clip of sleep darts, one clip of rounds for the special and the six rounds in the backup."

"Thirteen rounds versus their twenty six, assuming they have no other firearms?" Illya calculated, subtracting the number of shots already fired. "We had live rounds in our weapons."

"What, were you expecting something to happen up here?"

"One never knows," the Russian answered. "Napoleon I cannot believe I let them get the drop on me... am I slipping perhaps?"

"You're not slipping, you were just, preoccupied? You came up here to relax, so who would have expected this to be happening at my dad's cabin?"

"Being distracted my friend is a good way to end up dead in our business?"

Napoleon agreed with a sigh as he decided it was time to try to get to know who they were up against and called out to the gunmen.

"You out there...who are you and what do you want?"

His answer came in the form of several more gun shots, followed by more inane laughter. "You can start by giving us the women!"

"Sorry that's not going to happen. Why don't you just give it up now before you get hurt?"

There was more laughter. " Yeah right! You're the ones stuck in there, not us?"

"Why are you doing this" Illya called," who are you...Thrush?"

"Because we can?" There was a pause, then they called out again,"What's Thrush?"

Napoleon raised his eyebrows, looking at this partner,"Well that's good news?"

Solo and Kuryakin stayed low as they crawled away from the window, taking cover behind the sofa with the women.

Bella, I want you to go upstairs with Elliott and Illya and lock yourselves in the bedroom. You get in the closet and close the door."

"No, I am staying here." Illya said.

"As am I," Elliott chimed in.

"Will one of you please just go upstairs with her? She can't stay here and I don't want her alone up there."

"Excuse me, _she_ is sitting right here?" Bella said, "and I think I have a say in this. Napoleon please, I want to stay down here with you?"

"Bella please don't give me a hard time, not now!" he spoke sternly to her.

Elliott ended the discussion. "Alright, I'll go up with her. I do need ta put on some clothes anyway?"

Napoleon looked at Bella as she glared at him, she was trying to put on a brave face but he could see the fear in those violet eyes. He kissed her on the cheek, "It'll be alright, we do this sort of thing for a living remember? I just found you and I'm sure as hell not going to lose you now."

Elliott gathered the blanket tightly around herself and now armed with the backup pistol, lead Bella to the stairs cautioning her to stay low as they disappeared up the stairwell. A few minutes later Illya heard his name being called quietly as a pair of trousers and a black t-shirt were thrown down to him.

He crawled on his hands and knees, grabbing the clothing, slipping the pants on over his bathing trunks then carefully pulling the shirt over his head.

"We've got ourselves a bit of a problem here huh?" Solo said quietly to his partner.

"To say the least? We are out-gunned as they have more live rounds than us but we are not out-numbered."

"Does it matter, we're still pinned down in here?"

"I suppose not," Illya sighed. "One of us is going to have to get out to get help? I think it best that I go."

"You can barely stand. No we stay together for now and if any one is going leave, it'll be me? There's supposed to be a full moon, but it's too cloudy so there won't be enough light to see out there, and those woods are pretty dangerous at night...remember I spent my childhood coming up here, I know the area fairly well."

Everything was quiet outside as the sun fell. The temperature was dropping and an eerie fog was beginning to form over the lake as the dew in the air began to crystalize. The mist floated in towards the front of the house making it even move difficult to see; it seemed almost alive as it reached out like creeping tendrils, as it curled across the lawn while the light of the moon slipped in and out from behind the clouds.

"Maybe it is best we join the girls upstairs?" Illya said," there are too many directions that they can come at us from down here if they attempt to rush the house? The stairwell will give them only one avenue of approach and us a more controlled target to aim at?"

"Good thought."

Illya crouched, heading into the kitchen and grabbed a carving knife, hoping his partner did not see him as as he staggered again; grabbing hold of the door frame to steady himself. Once he had his balance, he joined Napoleon, heading upstairs. They positioned themselves on either side of the hall, while the women remained in the bedroom. Bella had convinced Elliott to at least sit on the edge of he bed as she had been nervously pacing the floor.

And so they waited.

"Napoleon," Bella called sticking her head out the door, "there's headlights coming up the road!"

Solo walked to the bedroom window, watching through the blinds as the vehicle approached. It was a squad car pulling up slowly in front of the house.

"We have to warn him!"he said as he scrambled to get down the stairs.

The officer called out from the porch as he knocked on the front door, "Mr. Solo, it's Officer Dunne from the Sheriffs office in town, we spoke earlier about your shed?

I came by to give you a heads up...we're warning residents. There are two brothers, escapees from a lunatic asylum about an hour away. Mr. Solo, are you there?"

Napoleon yelled to him as he bounded from the stairs across the living room to open the door, intending to pull the man inside out of harms way.

But when he opened the door, it was not the Sheriff standing there. The figure stared at him with pale, icy eyes, smiling in feral grin and he held a Louisville Slugger in his hands. It was then that Napoleon suddenly realized what was missing from the shed; his dad's baseball bats.

He grabbed Napoleon, pulling him out the door and they wrestled then fell, rolling from the porch to the ground.

The special and the bat both went flying in the struggle. Then the two men pulled themselves up, brawling across the lawn until they reached the dock. Solo threw a punch but his adversary ducked and then pushed him off balance, sending him into the cold mist covered water.

For a brief moment Napoleon panicked as he sank into the icy darkness, floundering as he remembered his near drowning in this very spot on the lake so long ago. His father had taken him out at night in a small sailing dingy to teach him about navigating by the stars. He lost his footing as he stepped into the boat, falling overboard. His lungs filled with water as his father's arm shot down to him in the water like a harpoon, pulling him up. Since then drowning had become his greatest fear, and now it was happening again.

And now it was happening to him again. He suddenly realized there was an arm reaching down into the water to him, just as his father had done and he grabbed it.

Illya pulled him up from the shocking cold of the lake as his partner coughed, gasping for air. He had Napoleon's special in his hand and laid cover fire as they ran for the house, passing the unconscious body of the man that had attacked Solo.

They heard angry curses and screams, then more of the insane laughter coming from the darkness as they locked the door behind them.

Then silence again as they waited.

Then there was the sound of a trunk being slammed closed.

Then the sound of a car starting and the the roar of a the engine being gunned. They had no time to move as the squad car tore into the front of the house, ripping a gaping hole in the wall.

Napoleon was knocked to the floor, hit by furniture that was sent flying by the vehicle.

Elliott hearing the commotion, then handed the pistol to Bella ordering her to stay put as she ran out the hall towards the stairs. When she reached the bottom, she saw Napoleon being slammed by a man with a baseball bat and Illya heading towards them.

The Russian launched himself through the air into a flying kick; his foot making contact with the man's head, snapping it back, breaking the man's neck and sending the body crashing against the hood of the car.

Illya's landing was less than graceful and he lost his balance, falling backwards against against the sofa table, collapsing as he hit his head.

Elliott was grabbed from behind by a second man as she stepped to the living room. He had her in a bear hug trying to crush her, squeezing until she went limp; then released her. Seemingly lifeless as she slipped down; then she launched herself upwards, her ruse successful as she punched him in the throat, killing him.

A third man appeared out of the darkness aiming the Sheriff's rifle at Napoleon. Elliott cursed as he heard two gunshots in succession and saw Napoleon drop, but then watched his assailant crumpled to the floor as well.

Napoleon rose slowly, seemingly uninjured as he walking calmly towards her then continued past when she realized Bella was standing behind her, there in the darkness holding the smoking pistol in her hand.

"Bella," he whispered,"give me the gun...and you can open your eyes now?"

One eye popped open, then the other; seeing she had managed to hit her intended target, even though she had pulled the trigger with her eyes closed tightly.

"Did I do good?"

"Baby, you did _real_ good," Napoleon smiled as he took her in his arms.

Elliott went to Illya, helping him up from the floor to the couch.

"Not yer day huh Illuysha?" she whispered kissing him on the cheek.

"Any day that we survive is a good day Annushka." he answered as she held him to her.

Napoleon used the radio in the Sheriff's car to call for help and within a half hour police and ambulances arrived.

"You folks were mighty lucky," said one of the police officers as the bodies of their attackers and Sheriff Dunne were carted off in the medical examiner's truck.

"These were the Venkos, Billy and Charlie. They escaped from the lunatic asylum where they were committed for life...murdered an entire family. They were always in trouble as kids, got away with killing and torturing small animals for years. Then they graduated to people."

"We're pretty sure they may have killed a couple renting a cottage about mile from here this morning. Found the woman strangled with a bikini top. The third fella is their cousin Eddie Malek...he helped them escape. Yep, mighty lucky. Well at least this scum won't be guests of the state any more."

Illya refused to go to the hospital as did Elliott, instead they insisted upon returning to the city that night. The police helped change the tire on Solo's car and two and half hours later Napoleon, Bella and the Kuryakins were at headquarters. Napoleon escorted them to medical, making sure they got there, leaving Bella with them. Then he headed to Waverly's conferece room just to to check in. As usual the old man was there.

"Mr. Solo, your weekend was cut short I hear by an encounter with the Venko brothers?"

How Waverly was aware of this; Napoleon had no idea and was momentarily at a loss for words.

"So your finacée Miss Graziani handled herself quite well under the circumstances." The head of section one smiled knowingly as he tapped the bowl of his pipe in his ashtray.

"Sir, how do you know all this? We just got here and umm, no one knew about my engagement except for the Kuryakins and I _know_ they wouldn't have said anything?"

"Mr. Solo, suffice it to say I make it a point to know what goes on with all my agents?"

The door to the conferece room opened silently as Bella Graziani stepped through.

"Hello Uncle Alex," she smiled, then walked over taking Napoleon by the hand."

"Uncle Alex?" Solo stood with his mouth hanging open, even more at a loss for words than he was moments ago.

"Yes Mr. Solo I have known your future wife since she was a child, her Uncle was a former Police Commissioner for the city and a dear friend.

"And when were you going to tell me this Bella?" Napoleon whispered out of the side of his mouth.

"We'll talk later."

"You bet we will."

"Well I suppose congratulations are in order since I have let the proverbial cat out of the bag? I am pleased with your choice as she is a lovely, and most capable young woman Mr. Solo, but since I have a personal interest in Miss Graziani I warn you not to break her heart?"

"Sir I have already received that warning seven fold," he nodded, "and rest assured, I won't."

"So Gabby I hear you were quite a shot, saving the day as it were?"

"Uncle Alex, I actually got lucky."

"Ah you never know my dear? Perhaps there's a place here for you in U.N.C.L.E.?"

"Oh no!" Napoleon said as he pulled her towards the door, "sorry sir, but I don't think that's going to happen...good night er, good morning Mr. Waverly."

"Bye Uncle Alex!" Bella waved as Napoleon pulled her out the door.

They paid a visit to the Kuryakins before leaving as the Russian and his wife were being confined to medical for mandatory observation.

Illya was asleep, hooked up to a bag of IV fluids and Elliott was sitting in a chair at his bedside, simply watching at him as he breathed quietly.

"How's he doing?" Napoleon whispered.

"Concussion, a few stitches but ye know him, he'll be fine."

"And you?"

"Just tired, and sore."

"Ellie, you need to get in bed? It's been a long night."

"Alright," she answered, giving him no arguments as he helped her into the adjoining hospital bed, covering her with the blanket. Napoleon leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead, then gently brushed his hand against her cheek as she closed her eyes.

He turned, seeing Bella watching him. "She's a very special friend." he told her.

It was now eight in the morning and Napoleon lead Bella to his office to make a quick telephone call before taking her home.

He dialed an outside line. "Hello dad? Yes sir, it's me. No sir. Yes sir, I understand. Umm...listen dad, about the cabin?"


End file.
